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Negotiate with your ex-spouse : a guide to post-divorce disputes Cover Image Book Book

Negotiate with your ex-spouse : a guide to post-divorce disputes / Brad McRae.

McRae, Bradley C. (Bradley Collins), 1945- (author.).

Summary:

Your divorce usually isn't the end of your dealings with your former spouse. Personal, financial and legal issues may linger for many years after the divorce is granted. Brad McRae provides a system to minimize conflict and maximize impact in your dealings with your former partner to create a win-win situation.

Record details

  • ISBN: 9781770402249 (pbk.)
  • Physical Description: xxxiv, 203 pages ; 23 cm.
  • Publisher: Vancouver : Self-Counsel Press, 2015.

Content descriptions

Additional Physical Form available Note:
Issued also in electronic format.

Search for related items by subject

Subject: Divorce.
Interpersonal conflict.
Negotiation.

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Available copies

  • 7 of 7 copies available at BC Interlibrary Connect. (Show)
  • 1 of 1 copy available at Valemount Public Library.

Holds

  • 0 current holds with 7 total copies.
Show Only Available Copies
Location Call Number / Copy Notes Barcode Shelving Location Holdable? Status Due Date
Valemount Public Library anf 306.89 mcr (Text) 35194014235303 Adult non-fiction Volume hold Available -
► Summaries & More
▼ Additional Content
Preface xix
Introduction xxi
1 Build Your Future with Creative Solutions
1(18)
1 Determination
8(1)
2 Flexibility
8(1)
3 Maturity
9(1)
4 Positive Precedents
9(4)
5 Skills for Generating Creative Solutions
13(6)
5.1 Process examples of past creative solutions
13(1)
5.2 Consult with other creative thinkers
14(1)
5.3 Read about creative solutions
15(1)
5.4 Try to identify the mental model used to generate other creative solutions
15(1)
5.5 Learn to use enhanced brainstorming
15(1)
5.6 Keep a creative solutions log
16(3)
2 Understand the Negotiation Process
19(10)
1 Six Reasons Negotiating May Be Poor
19(3)
1.1 Not fully understanding the negotiating process
19(1)
1.2 Not applying what we do know to our negotiations
20(1)
1.3 Negotiating reactively rather than proactively because we allow ourselves to get emotionally hooked
20(1)
1.4 The negotiation process gets clouded by our anger over a real or perceived betrayal
20(1)
1.5 Not having an implementation system to help us consistently and thoroughly apply what we do know
21(1)
1.6 Using positional bargaining in place of interest-based negotiating
21(1)
2 Determining the Other Party's Interests Ahead of Negotiations
22(1)
3 Master Negotiator's Preparation Form
23(6)
3.1 Case study using the Master Negotiators Preparation Form
24(5)
4 Choice Points
29(1)
5 Meta-Negotiation
30(3)
3 Develop a Negotiating Plan
33(18)
1 Ten Concepts
35(11)
1.1 Issues versus positions
35(2)
1.2 Identifying your and your ex-partner's interests
37(1)
1.3 What is the prize?
38(1)
1.4 What are the options?
39(2)
1.5 What are the standards and objective criteria?
41(1)
1.6 Are there robust and elegant solutions?
41(1)
1.7 Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA)
42(1)
1.8 Worst Alternative To A Negotiated Agreement (WATNA)
43(1)
1.9 Zone of Possible Agreement (ZOPA)
43(1)
1.10 Trade-offs and concessions
44(2)
2 Five Variables in Negotiation Relationships
46(5)
2.1 What is my negotiation style?
46(1)
2.2 What is my ex-spouse's style?
46(1)
2.3 Which negotiation style should I use?
46(1)
2.4 Muscle level
47(1)
2.5 Your opening statement
48(3)
4 Understand the Stages
51(16)
1 The Five Stages
51(4)
1.1 Denial
52(1)
1.2 Anger
52(1)
1.3 Bargaining
52(1)
1.4 Depression
53(1)
1.5 Acceptance
53(2)
2 The Three Stages of the Negotiation Process
55(5)
2.1 The agreeing to negotiate stage
55(1)
2.2 The formula stage
56(4)
3 The Detail Phase
60(7)
3.1 Repeat and write down the details
62(5)
5 Make Your Negotiating Style Work for You, Not Against You
67(28)
1 Understanding Your Negotiating Style
71(1)
2 Understanding Your Ex-Spouse's/Ex-Partner's Negotiation Style
72(1)
3 The Effectiveness of the Various Styles
73(7)
3.1 Styles negotiating with each other
77(3)
4 Identifying and Controlling Your Shadow Style
80(2)
5 Correctly Identifying the Style of Those Who Try to Disguise Their Style
82(2)
6 Inclusiveness
84(2)
7 Seven Tools for Overly Cooperative Ex-Spouses
86(5)
7.1 Develop higher expectations
87(1)
7.2 Develop your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA)
88(1)
7.3 Delegate the negotiation to someone who will be more assertive
89(1)
7.4 Bargain on behalf of someone or something else, not yourself
89(1)
7.5 Create an audience
89(1)
7.6 Say, "I would like you to give a little more here, because . . ."
90(1)
7.7 Insist on commitments, not just agreements
90(1)
8 Seven Tools for Overly Competitive Ex-Spouses
91(4)
8.1 Think win-win, not win-lose
91(1)
8.2 Ask more questions than you think you should
92(1)
8.3 Rely on standards/objective criteria
92(1)
8.4 Become, find, or hire a relationship manager
92(1)
8.5 Be reliable
93(1)
8.6 Don't haggle when you can negotiate
93(1)
8.7 Always acknowledge the other party and protect his or her self-esteem
94(1)
6 Help Your Children Enhance their Self-Esteem
95(16)
1 From Guilt Mongering to Opportunity Finding
96(1)
2 Focus on What You Can Do for Your Children, Not on What You Can't Do
96(4)
2.1 Write a family mission statement
98(1)
2.2 Increase your children's self-esteem
99(1)
3 Increase Positive Feedback
100(1)
3.1 Family report cards
100(1)
3.2 Family trophies
101(1)
4 Seize Opportunities for Role Expansion
101(1)
5 Use Behavioral Analysis
102(1)
6 Maintain Family Traditions and Develop New Ones
103(2)
6.1 Surprise trips and outings
104(1)
6.2 Capture family history
105(1)
7 Keep Extended Families Intact
105(3)
8 Sometimes It's Not the Big Issues but the Overabundance of Small Ones
108(3)
7 Model Good Conflict Resolution Strategies
111(18)
1 The Put-Down Parent
112(5)
1.1 Name the game but let him or her save face
113(1)
1.2 Ask what the other person would have done in that particular situation
113(1)
1.3 Point out what is working well
114(1)
1.4 Ask the other person if he or she supports your child or children in having a good relationship with both parents
114(1)
1.5 Anticipate the put-down
114(3)
2 The Triangling Parent
117(1)
3 Double Binds
118(2)
3.1 The broken promise parent
118(2)
4 Six Positive Conflict Resolution Strategies
120(9)
4.1 Negotiate a good substantive, relationship, and process outcome
120(1)
4.2 Develop a code of conduct
121(1)
4.3 Have productive family meetings
121(3)
4.4 Negotiating clearly understood agreements
124(1)
4.5 Find the balance between firmness and flexibility
125(1)
4.6 Turn the conflict into a teachable moment
126(3)
8 How to Negotiate with a Difficult Ex-Spouse
129(30)
1 Why Do Difficult People Behave in Difficult Manners?
130(1)
2 The Power of an Accurate Diagnosis
130(4)
2.1 Labeling
131(3)
3 The Power of Perspective Management
134(4)
4 The Power of Core Values and Core Beliefs
138(4)
5 The Power of Effective Anger Management
142(4)
5 The Power of Role Selection
146(3)
6 The Power of Doing the Unexpected
149(3)
6.1 The law of choice
150(2)
7 The Power of Resiliency
152(3)
8 The Power of Building a Strong Support Network
155(4)
9 Seek Mediation
159(26)
1 The Importance of a Framing Statement
161(1)
2 The Importance of Identifying both Parties' Underlying Interests
162(1)
3 The Creative Use of Objective Criteria
163(3)
4 What to Look for in Selecting a Mediator
166(1)
5 How the Mediation Process Works
167(3)
6 Ground Rules and Guidelines
170(5)
6.1 Caucusing
171(1)
6.2 Defining the role of the mediator
172(1)
6.3 Brainstorming
173(1)
6.4 Transaction costs
173(2)
7 Memorandums of Understanding
175(1)
8 Finding Mediators in Unlikely Places
176(2)
9 Negotiating through Lawyers
178(3)
9.1 When to hire a cooperative lawyer
179(1)
9.2 When to hire an aggressive lawyer
180(1)
9.3 Going to court
180(1)
10 Parallel Parenting
181(4)
10 Forgive Yourself and Your Ex-Spouse
185(14)
1 You Have to Forgive Yourself
189(1)
2 You Have to Forgive Others
190(1)
3 Develop a Forgiveness Action Plan
191(3)
4 Follow-Up Conversations
194(2)
5 When Professional Help Helps
196(3)
Conclusion 199(4)
Download Kit 203

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