BookPage Top Pick in Fiction, February 2017

After four sons, Dr. Rosie Walsh and her husband, writer Penn Adams, thought maybe—just maybe—their fifth child would be a girl, Poppy, named for Rosie's deceased sister. But instead, the baby was another boy, Claude. Until he decided he wasn't.

The revelation didn't shake the Walsh-Adamses. Claude would be allowed to wear a dress. Claude would be allowed to change his name. Claude would become Poppy. Laurie Frankel's third novel, This Is How It Always Is, doesn't center on a family's struggle about how to handle a child's transition from a he to a she. It's about everything that follows.

Rosie and Penn find peace in Poppy's kindergarten class, but Rosie worries about Poppy's future in their relatively sheltered Minnesota town. After much research, the family is off to Seattle, which they're sure will be a more supportive environment for Poppy.

And it is. But they also have four other children to consider. Their new friends in Seattle know Poppy only as a girl, and over time, it becomes obvious that keeping the secret is taking a toll on the rest of the family.

This Is How It Always Is isn't only a novel about the challenges of life with an atypical child. It's a story about the challenges of parenting and love, period. Frankel draws from her own experience as the mother of a second-grade girl who was born male. In writing, she offers a piece of advice: "Secrets make everyone alone." But she also believes that we find one another by telling our stories. This beautiful story is deeply personal, a heart-rending glimpse of an
author writing her way to understanding.

 

This article was originally published in the February 2017 issue of BookPage. Download the entire issue for the Kindle or Nook.

Rosie is a busy ER doctor; her husband, Penn, is a writer and stay-at-home father to their four sons. They welcome a fifth son to their boisterous family, and when Claude is three, he starts to wear dresses and says he wants to be a girl. Although his parents and older brothers unconditionally love and support the little one, now called Poppy, troubles arise in the wider world, even in their famously liberal hometown of Madison, WI, and later in Seattle, where they move when Poppy is ten. Then Rosie takes the unhappy and troubled child with her when she volunteers for a stint at a desperately poor clinic in the jungles of Thailand, which turns out to be a life-changing experience for them. In a letter to her readers, Frankel (The Atlas of Love; Goodbye for Now) explains that her own second-grader, born male, now identifies as a girl, so she writes her fictional story with some personal experience. VERDICT This novel offers a timely and thoughtful look at the life of a transgender child. It is also a touching and sympathetic account that is brimming with life and hard to put down.—Leslie Patterson, Rehoboth, MA

When Claude, who has always resisted stereotypical male behaviors, wants to wear dresses to kindergarten, Rosie and Penn help their young child deal with classmates, parents, teachers, and administrators who don't understand why Claude, who now identifies as female, wants to be called Poppy. After an incident with another parent almost turns violent, the family of seven pick up and move from Madison, WI, to Seattle. Poppy's history remains a secret—until she's in fifth grade. Penn, an aspiring writer and stay-at-home dad, also experiences a journey of self-discovery as he develops his talent for storytelling. Though the third-person perspective revolves mostly around the parents, it will still resonate with teens. Many readers will identify with Poppy, while others will gain fresh perspective on gender identity. VERDICT This thought-provoking, accessible work would make an excellent parent/teen book club choice.—Carrie Shaurette, Dwight-Englewood School, Englewood, NJ