Cultivate the self-awareness and understanding needed to earn your own secure attachment—so you can approach your life and your relationships with an open heart, a curious mind, and a joyful soul.

Do you feel insecure, jealous, or anxious in your relationships? Do you have a deep fear that people will abandon you? Have you ever stayed in a toxic situation because you didn’t believe you deserved better? If so, you may have an anxious attachment style—a way of coping with difficult situations or emotions that is often rooted in an adverse childhood experience (ACE), such as neglect or abuse. Fortunately, there are ways to heal this anxious attachment, and even transform it into an earned secure attachment.

In this holistic guide, therapist Jennifer Nurick offers a trauma-informed approach grounded in neuroscience, mindfulness, and polyvagal theory to help you feel more secure in who you are; cultivate self-worth, self-trust, and confidence; and approach your life and relationships from a place of calm, clarity, and connectedness. You’ll also learn to release your anxious fear of abandonment, move past reactivity and critical self-talk, and curb the negative impulses that sabotage healthy connections with others and keep you trapped in unhealthy relationships and situations.

An insecure, anxious attachment style often springs from an unmet need for security, calm, and understanding in childhood. But you don’t have to let your past define you. You can build healthy self-awareness, trust, and empathy; as well as the ability to regulate your emotions, respond to stress, solve problems, and form secure and trusting relationships with others. This book will guide you in doing just that.